Rash Ramblings

A runner once, an explorer always!

Influence or Influenced

Another day of activity begins. I am out the door in the dark somewhere close to 5:30 a.m. As I pass under the first street light, it is blinding and much brighter than all the others I will come to as it is my first and my eyes are not yet used to the light. It is the dead of Summer. The heat is incessant. There have been over forty days so far with highs over a hundred. Even at this early hour, the air is thick and its touch is heavy. I move out of the light and hope for the most part to soak in my solitude.

I come upon a dog in the backyard across the street. Its barking is unsure and half hearted as though he sensed something was not right, but was not fully aware of my┬ápresence. This is just as I would like it. This is my time to be alone. I’m not looking for any “howdy do’s” or “how are you’s” from faceless images in the dark. This is my time to know me and analyze my place in this world. Often I may feel like the person that goes into a crowded room. It is that feeling of being apart, yet still a part of that crowd.

I pass others doing their routine and I do my best to stay out of their path and remain unnoticed. Through repetition you become somewhat aware of their routine, whether you want to are not. You expect to see them here or there and when they do not appear for whatever reason, there is a hole. If you never see them again, you may always wonder what happened to them even though you really have no reason to.

I have been thinking about this in regard to our placement in life. We sometimes find ourselves in what we perceive to be bad situations or unfulfilling jobs for whatever reason. It may not be that we were put in that place or that job, because it was going to do anything for us. What if we were put where we are at a certain time so that we could influence or be influenced by a certain person or certain people. Although you can’t necessarily see it at the time there is a purpose and maybe we should just be the best that we can and let time take care of the why. That doesn’t mean go along aimlessly. You still have to have goals and a plan. It is just that the pacing of this plan is not totally in our control. Take the bumps, fix the flat…but keep on going.

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